Two steps forward and one step back.
That is how election night felt. We elected the first black president in America, and then California passed Prop-8 banning gay marriage.
I have been involved in discussions and back and forth with friends, coworkers, relatives (many of them in CA). And I kept thinking I should finally get my best thinking down and post it--One eloquent, convincing piece of prose that would sum up the situation and convince people to open their eyes and hearts to all people.
Well, fuck it. I can’t manage to be eloquent and I don’t know that people want to be convinced. So this is the best I can do for now. Though I still hope for eloquence and convincing argument from somebody if not from me.
This whole Prop-8 thing is really disturbing because of the involvement of the Mormon Church, the church in which I was raised and in which many of my relatives still remain active. I am not a Mormon now; thank god the constitution gives me that right. But I have a fondness for Mormons and my family. And I defend their rights to believe what they believe and to live the way they live. I also defend their rights to advocate their beliefs and to encourage others to believe as they do. So I understand when Mormons tell me that they do not want to be gay, and that they do not want other people to be gay. But there is a big difference between telling someone you don’t like what they do and telling them that what they want to do is illegal and will not be permitted, especially when the action under discussion is marriage.
Evolution and history have been moving in a fairly specific direction when it comes to human rights: more people get more rights all the time, even if we have to fight first. Agrarian societies had slavery. Industrial societies got rid of slavery. Now our society is trying to get rid of racism and sexism. There were people not too long ago who believed that letting people of different races get married was an affront to god and should be illegal. But people expanded their definitions of who was covered by the Bill of Rights and they struck down those laws eventually. History judges those people to be uninformed bigots while those who fought to educate and resist the conservative majority are now seen to have been ahead of their time. History will judge the people who voted yes on Prop-8 in the same way one day. I just hope that day is soon and not decades away.
I have heard a lot of anger from my gay friends and family. I understand. It pisses me off too. But I also believe that the anger needs to be used as fuel to drive resolution and action. That anger is not effective when poured out at the people who voted their beliefs, prejudices and fears. That anger does need to be used to calmly and clearly let people know that gays and lesbians and those who support their rights to choose their own life partners, husbands and wives, are not going away. We need to be clear that the days when gays and lesbians could be driven into the shadows are long over. Things will change. These civil rights will be defended.
The Black Panthers did not do as much for black civil rights as Martin Luther King, Jr. did. Anger and violence cause more fear and retreat into old prejudices. What we need is a combination of resolute firmness, and an invitation to all people to expand their concepts of human dignity, to open their eyes and their hearts, to change their hearts. People need to realize that these are not nameless, faceless fags they are voting against; these are their sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, cousins and friends, coworkers and church members. These are people just like them, who want to live and love as best they can. Supporting the loving relationships of others does no harm to my relationships, nor will it do any harm to yours.
That is how election night felt. We elected the first black president in America, and then California passed Prop-8 banning gay marriage.
I have been involved in discussions and back and forth with friends, coworkers, relatives (many of them in CA). And I kept thinking I should finally get my best thinking down and post it--One eloquent, convincing piece of prose that would sum up the situation and convince people to open their eyes and hearts to all people.
Well, fuck it. I can’t manage to be eloquent and I don’t know that people want to be convinced. So this is the best I can do for now. Though I still hope for eloquence and convincing argument from somebody if not from me.
This whole Prop-8 thing is really disturbing because of the involvement of the Mormon Church, the church in which I was raised and in which many of my relatives still remain active. I am not a Mormon now; thank god the constitution gives me that right. But I have a fondness for Mormons and my family. And I defend their rights to believe what they believe and to live the way they live. I also defend their rights to advocate their beliefs and to encourage others to believe as they do. So I understand when Mormons tell me that they do not want to be gay, and that they do not want other people to be gay. But there is a big difference between telling someone you don’t like what they do and telling them that what they want to do is illegal and will not be permitted, especially when the action under discussion is marriage.
Evolution and history have been moving in a fairly specific direction when it comes to human rights: more people get more rights all the time, even if we have to fight first. Agrarian societies had slavery. Industrial societies got rid of slavery. Now our society is trying to get rid of racism and sexism. There were people not too long ago who believed that letting people of different races get married was an affront to god and should be illegal. But people expanded their definitions of who was covered by the Bill of Rights and they struck down those laws eventually. History judges those people to be uninformed bigots while those who fought to educate and resist the conservative majority are now seen to have been ahead of their time. History will judge the people who voted yes on Prop-8 in the same way one day. I just hope that day is soon and not decades away.
I have heard a lot of anger from my gay friends and family. I understand. It pisses me off too. But I also believe that the anger needs to be used as fuel to drive resolution and action. That anger is not effective when poured out at the people who voted their beliefs, prejudices and fears. That anger does need to be used to calmly and clearly let people know that gays and lesbians and those who support their rights to choose their own life partners, husbands and wives, are not going away. We need to be clear that the days when gays and lesbians could be driven into the shadows are long over. Things will change. These civil rights will be defended.
The Black Panthers did not do as much for black civil rights as Martin Luther King, Jr. did. Anger and violence cause more fear and retreat into old prejudices. What we need is a combination of resolute firmness, and an invitation to all people to expand their concepts of human dignity, to open their eyes and their hearts, to change their hearts. People need to realize that these are not nameless, faceless fags they are voting against; these are their sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, cousins and friends, coworkers and church members. These are people just like them, who want to live and love as best they can. Supporting the loving relationships of others does no harm to my relationships, nor will it do any harm to yours.
1 comment:
Thank you for that! I'm stealing it and putting it on my blog! lol I agree bout MLK vs Black Panthers but there's a time and place for everything and I believe what is called for now is anger. The people who voted need to know that they hurt and pissed off a lot of people they claim to love. Things will calm down but for now I'm letting my anger out.
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