Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Prescription Optics

Does anyone else have trouble buying prescription glasses?

Or is it just me?

The exam always goes okay:

Which do you like better: number 1 or number 2?

It is the buying glasses part that always gets screwed up.

There are hundreds of frames, but only 3 of them fit my head.

And of those only 1 doesn’t make me look like a dork.

I have to wear the frames for several hours before I know
Whether they will give me headaches from squeezing my head too tight.

Or if they will slip up and down my nose like an out of control elevator.

Then they talk you into buying a second pair of prescription sunglasses
For “free” or only a little bit more money.

But by the time you get anti-glare coatings and such,
You are in for hundreds of dollars
None of which is covered by your vision insurance.

Then you wait 3 weeks for them to deliver the wrong lenses
Ground to the wrong prescription.

But they fiddle with the “fit” and tell you to wear them for a few days,
To get used to them.

So after you fall down from being dizzy and confused
By the freak-show distortions and headaches
Caused by the fish bowl optics,
You have to convince the optical department to take them back.

Then you wait another 3 weeks to get a replacement pair.

All the while going blind trying to read and use your computer
Wearing the cheap “free” set of sunglasses
Which somehow they got right, but they are too dark for indoor use
While your primary pair of “expensive” expensive glasses are away
At Santa’s workshop being fixed by the Grinch,
Who will eventually grind the lenses correctly
But Cindi-Loo Whoo manages to charge you an additional 50 dollar fee
For something or another which is somehow your fault.

Is that just me?

Or does this happen to you as well?

Be seeing you…I hope.

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