Thursday, January 13, 2005

Broke Down in Bakersfield

The first major screw up of the Tour is upon us.
The Thunder Echo Van has broken down on the way to LA. After hours of sitting next to some very decorative tumbleweeds at the side of I-5 a pirate with a patch over one eye and a tow truck hauled the van into the nearest town, a single-story sprawl of stucco houses called Bakersfield.
While sharing horror stories with the other motorists in the lobby of the Bakersfield Auto Torture Facility it became apparent that 90% of all break downs on I-5 occur within 20 miles of Bakersfield. There is an energy sink hole centered on this San Joaquin Valley town that seeks out mechanical weakness in passing automobiles and strands them in the dust and desolation of Bakersfield. This Bakersfield Triangle not only captures passing motorists, it makes the delivery of common autoparts a multiday ordeal that involves special orders, couriers, and extraordinarily huge cash payments.

The bottom line: TEE is trapped in Bakersfield for several days at least.
The LA Show will be postponed while we wait for van parts, repairs and the required funds.


Anonymous said...

Bakersfeild sucks! I don't think there's anything else to say about it. Of course every town that I've been in for too long sucks. I'm growing bored of Arlington so fast I can't wait to travel again! But at least Arlington's air is easy to breathe, most of the people are friendly and cars don't break down. Except they seem to like breaking down at the end of our street. Never move to Bakersfeild. And if you can manage it: don't let Monkey Boy drink any more. It's not good for him. Maybe I could do monkey counceling instead. That's about 20 dollars per margarita he drinks, 10 dollars for ever fishing trip you go on and 5 dollars for every mexican song he sings. You can have fun doing the math.


Anonymous said...

Bakersfield doesn't suck. There are many wonderful artistic people and events in Bakersfield. And any city can suck if you have a negative attitude. Good Luck.