My friend Steve asked me a question after the last post:
> How much better would every aspect of the world's existence be if each day
> people were aware of selfless acts that make the world better and looked at
> the positive that occurs simultaneously with the negative? It would be
> immeasurably better.
>
> But I just had a thought. Since growth takes place in the face of
> resistance maybe idiots and their effects are a necessity for our growth just like
> air and food. And if that's the case should I be just as grateful for them as
> for clean mountain air and a delicious crab? Because I have a hard time
> feeling that.
Carlos Castaneda was told by his teacher Don Juan Matus that he was a fortunate man to have found a worthy adversary, an enemy who could test him to the core. Don Juan told Carlos that withstanding life’s challenges with unbending intent was the only way to walk the “path with a heart”. Only a worthy opponent can blast your world to pieces. Teachers and friends will always show you mercy. Only a true adversary could take you past your limits and enable you to experience the impeccability of your free will. (Note: all of this is from memory of books I read 20+ years ago. I’m too lazy to look it up.)
Most of us don’t have a “worthy adversary” or even an “enemy”. We just have encounters with dopes and mean people. Does that mean you have to be “grateful” for the idiots of the world and the shitty things people do to you? I don’t know that there is a simple yes or no answer to that question.
Yes, I find it incredibly helpful to balance my otherwise pessimistic world view with a frequent survey of all the selfless and supportive things ordinary people do every day. Many of those actions go unnoticed yet they still have a helpful and nurturing impact on my continued existence. I think the media (news and entertainment) tend to focus on harsh and violent aspects of life too much. But there are still examples of good news and plenty of opportunity for observing goodness and love first hand. And it is humbling and gratifying to notice the countless beings who contribute to my life, enjoyments and health every day. It is easy to feel grateful for the beings who serve you dinner when you are hungry.
But it can be difficult to feel gratitude for the actions of idiots, fools, enemies and the blind forces of nature that cause you problems or knock you down or injure you or deprive you of comfort and loved ones. Things and people can hurt and kill you, and often do. Yet overcoming those obstacles, those situations often causes us to grow in ways we had not imagined before. That growth often makes us into better human beings. But should we be “grateful”? Good question.
Too much blind acceptance of whatever happens probably isn’t a good thing. So baseless unthinking “gratitude” for the guy who just kidnapped you, may not be good. But too much unthinking “resentment” for the guy who imprisoned you 20 years ago probably isn’t good either. Somewhere in the middle I think you can be honestly pissed off that you have been injured by someone. Work to withstand those challenges with your heart intact. And then you can be honestly “grateful” for the strength of will you developed under those harsh circumstances, even as you fight with all your passion to make sure no one has to be subjected to imprisonment again.
Even the idiots of the world contribute to your environment. And we can be “grateful” for the richness of our environment. We can be “grateful” for the precious human life that allows us to experience such a wide range of spectacle, emotion, sensation and thought. You may not find it easy to feel “grateful” for the idiots in your life. But you can marvel that some part of you thinks maybe you should or could be equally grateful for clean mountain air and that asshole that mows his lawn at 5:30 am every Saturday.
For me personally, I know I can’t control the billions of things that go on in my environment. But I have found that I can make choices about how to respond to things in my environment. Mental and emotional habits can be hard to break, but by turning my attention on them I can often derail harmful habits early and encourage helpful habits. Attitude has a lot to do with happiness and satisfaction. Good things happen in the world. Bad things happen in the world. Joy happens in me. Anger happens in me. I can give them their brief and natural time on the mental stage and remain undamaged. But when I chain myself to either of them (joy or anger) and imprison them and replay them over and over again I miss out on so much and always feel drained and diminished. I drag myself through some hard depressing episodes despite all I have learned, sometimes for minutes, sometimes for months or years. But eventually I remember how to let go and clear the stage for the next performance for the next chapter of life. On good days I let go quickly. On bad days I don’t. But I am grateful that I always remember eventually.
I find myself recently being grateful for friends who ask good questions. Hopefully I didn’t answer them. But I had fun pondering them.
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